What’s a BSO? BSO is short for Bicycle Shaped Object. It’s a pejorative term for the cheap, barely functional crap sold at department stores. They generally have things like wheels and tires, brakes and brake levers, shifters and derailers, but most of these parts don’t really work the way they’re supposed to because they’re not assembled properly and because they’re junk to begin with. IKEA gave BSOs to its US employees yesterday. In the box. Unassembled. What could be better?

I imagine that some CEO/CFO/CDF went into a meeting and said that he’d like to pretend to make a goodwill nature-friendly gesture to his hipster lefty tree-hugger employees. Someone at the table probably said something like “I hear hipsters really dig fixing bicycles.” And an idea was born. Unfortunately, top down cool isn’t cool. No one calls Pizza Hut “the Hut”, no one calls Radio Shack “the Shack” and no one thinks IKEA’s BSO is anything more than an attempt for dad to pretend he’s as hip as his teenage kids.

Here’s the deal. I live near Harrisburg, PA. If you work in a Philly, Baltimore or DC IKEA store, would like to have it properly assembled, and can get it to me, I’ll fix you right up. For free. No charge. Gratis. I may even swap a few parts out and make your shiny new BSO even better. Hit me up. The contact link is on the right.

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